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Necessarity Of Reconciling a Family

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When people break up, they often feel desperate, which leads to bad decisions, making any hope of reconcilation extremly unlikely. When parents divorce and children are involved, the circumstance becomes more complex. Pressures are very substantial to reconcile, they come to bear from the sub-conscious mind as well as from external factors.

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It isn’t just the fact that you want to be happy again, you are also trying to look after the happiness and well-being of your children who are all important to you. Obviously you don’t want them to lose a parent so you take on board their wants and needs as well as your own. It is a phenomenal amount of pressure and substantially increases the need you feel to reconcile with your ex as quickly as possible.

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A major factor which you should think about, is that because of your children, time is very much on your side. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship which ends with no children is different because they have no similar ties to keep them together and they are both completely free to go their individual ways.

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On the other hand, having children means that you will have an ongoing contact with your ex, to talk about them. So the apparent pressure to get back together right now isn’t fully justified. Try to preserve a regular communication with your ex, but at all times keep it light and friendly.

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It is very common to use the children as leverage to get your ex back. Whilst this can be effective at times because of their bond to the children, it is the wrong route to take. It is wrong because you will be making them feel guilty and they will end up resenting that at some time in the future, which in turn may trigger a recurrence of the same situation.

The best way forward is to gently guide your ex towards a reconciliation, but without resorting to using pressure or guilt. To do that effectively, you need to formulate a plan of action that you can follow, where you will know in advance what their reaction is going to be to any scenario.

 

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