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To Take Your Ex Back Or Not – That is the Question

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Did you just have a sudden breakup? You thought things were OK, right? I mean, of course there were things you could work on, but that is every relationship… right?

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So now he calls and you are left wondering… to take my ex back, or not?

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What if weeks or months have gone by since he broke up with you. You are just learning that it is ok to live without him again. You got rid of all the junk he gave you, but all of the nice stuff too. Life is starting to feel good again, and hey- you are starting to notice men noticing you!

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And then one day, the phone rings, and it’s the last person you are expecting. It’s him and he says “Hey- it’s me, please do not hang up..” Or you run into him in the store, and he begs you to talk to him. You want to slam down the phone, or just run away. But you cannot.

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Jerkface tells you he made a horrible mistake – he misses you and feels lonely and he cannot live without you. He needs a second chance – What do you do?

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Scenario One: Pound Sound!

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This is where you tell him to go back to whatever cave he crawled out of and slam down the phone or run away. This reminds you of how awful you felt when the breakup first happened. It makes you angry and sad. Probably angry most of all.

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Scenario Two: The Why’s

This is when you want to know why he dumped you, anyway. You start asking questions of him, trying to get to the real reasons. Maybe he’ll answer to your satisfaction, but probably not. You do realize, however, that deep down this is a risky shot. This is time to ask him for some time to really evaluate what you want.

Scenario Three: You Remember The Real Him

After hearing him talk, you know he could probably change or already has. BUT you really don’t want to trust him again. You have grown and matured, and that should have been something he recognized the first time around. Your mind is made up, you hear him out, but in the end, you tell him NOT INTERESTED.

Scenario Four: You Want Him Back

This is what happens when you guys really had something. Maybe it went wrong for reasons beyond your control, maybe it just went wrong and there is no explaining it. But this is when you have all of the good memories come back, even though he hurt you, you want him back. Some part of you still loves him and misses him and knows this is right.

So what do you do when an ex comes begs you to take him back?

2nd round relationships are not dead by any means. But you need to be sure you are getting back together with your ex for the right reasons. Now is the time you can dictate the terms because you have been hurt and you have an obligation to protect yourself.

You Need To Know What You Want

This is the time when you need to really think about what your relationship was REALLY like. Was it as good as you made it out to be after the breakup? Was it as bad as you made it out to be? Are some of the reasons for the arguments, fighting, and actions still around? If they are, you need to know for sure that they are not allowed to fester and get in the way of you two again.

For example, let’s say you have a good male friend that he was jealous of, and this was part of the breakup. Or maybe he is just a really jealous guy. How has this changed? Do you still have male friends? Do you sometimes just go out with the girls (and of course, he gets jealous)?

It’s a small examples, but if you think about it, if that was the thing that bothered him before, why will it not bother him now?

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